Wednesday's Child

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

"Depression is a spiritual cross," she told him; "it is sent to help the penitents who do not know how to repent, that is, who after repentance fall again into their earlier sins... And so only two medicines can treat this sometimes very difficult suffering of soul. One must either learn to repent and offer the fruits of repentance; or else bear this spiritual cross, one's depression, with humility, meekness, patience and great gratitude to the Lord, remembering that the bearing of this cross is accounted by the Lord as the fruit of repentance... And after all, what great consolation it is to realize that your discouragement is the unacknowledged fruit of repentance, an unconscious self-chastisement for the absence of the fruits that are demanded... From this thought one should come to contrition, and then the depression gradually melts and the true fruits of repentance will be conceived..."

Thursday, June 09, 2005

Life is beautiful!

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

Christ is Risen!

Sometimes the hardest thing in life is simply to live, but God is merciful.

Christ is Risen! Indeed He is Risen!

Sunday, March 13, 2005

Meditations on Turning Eight, by Lisa Simpson

I had a cat named Snowball --
She died! She died!
Mom said she was sleeping --
She lied! She lied!
Why oh why is my cat dead?
Couldn't that Chrysler hit me instead?

Friday, March 11, 2005

Lord, make me an instrument of Thy peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
Where there is injury, pardon;
Where there is doubt, faith;
Where there is despair, hope;
Where there is darkness, light;
Where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
To be consoled, as to console;
Not so much to be understood as to understand,
Not so much to be loved as to love:
For it is in giving that we receive;
It is in pardoning, that we are pardoned;
It is in dying, that we awaken to eternal life.

Friday, January 07, 2005

The memory of the just is celebrated with hymns of praise, but the Lord's testimony is sufficient for thee, O Forerunner; for thou hast proved to be truly even more venerable than the Prophets, since thou was granted to baptize in the running waters Him Whom they proclaimed. Wherefore, having contested for the truth, thou didst rejoice to announce the good tidings even to those in Hades: that God hath appeared in the flesh, taking away the sin of the world and granting us great mercy.

The past few days I have been in a sort of daze and my head has been spinning so much. The craziness is setting in. There are days when I am so choked up with life and its pain that I feel physically sick from it all. At moments like that I almost come unglued, and sometimes I do. The world starts to spin and I lose my peace. Then I remember two things: I always can pray for help and God will answer me, and lighten up (what my priest always tells me to do). It really does work, I can deal with anything then, it may be hard and painful but I can get through whatever comes my way.

There are some days when I feel my demons working so hard on me. I can really feel them haunting me. It is so scary. On those days I just run and pray so hard. By the grace of God I am still hanging in there.

I really think that I am insane, but is this insanity or is it just struggling? I am alright with struggling because then at least I am fighting and trying to get closer to God. If it is insanity, well...I don't know.

Hannah, what is wrong with you?

Lord have mercy.

Tuesday, January 04, 2005

Back Home

I really think my family is great, despite all their little habits - good and bad- I love them. It took taking a break from them to make me realize how much I need them. I also found that I need to live with a lot of people. I could never live by myself, or with just one or two other people. I need a crowd of people to keep me sane and out of my head. God has truly blessed me.

This past sunday it was so wonderful having Bishop Joseph come to our church. One of the best things about the service was that the entire congregation was able to see him vest, it was really a neat experience, all of it. No matter how many times I see Bishop Joseph I am always so in awe, he is really a beautiful man.

Synaxis of the Seventy Holy Apostles
With hymns let us praise the chorus of the Seventy disciples of Christ, ye faithful; and in godliness, let us keep a feast, for we learned through them to worship the Trinity, Who is indivisibly one; for they are the lamps of our most godly Faith.

God bless!!!