Wednesday's Child

Sunday, June 27, 2004

Ramblings

For several months I have been observing and subsequently contemplating why certain newcomers to my church(mainly guys) who are reformed are so much more sensitive than guys who have not had a more crazy past. I was thinking that much of the reason that this is the case is that God was in a sense playing with their hearts, molding them so to speak, and in that process they became even more sensitive and compassionate than originally. I also think that one must be sensitive in order to actually see God, and that seeing the error of one's ways is extremely humbling and makes one much more sensitive to people in general and also less judgemental. All I know is that the few men that are reformed and have come to Orthodoxy are so sensitive and compassionate, and seeing this makes my heart melt. For some reason, even though I don't know some of them that well, I have a soft spot in my heart for them. There is something so beautiful and touching to me to see someone turn around and see God's grace in full and then, instead of running from His glory, embrace God with all of his/her heart and soul. That is so moving, especially to a young women who was raised in Orthodoxy and have always had the Church play a large role in my life. All I really wanted to say was how, for me, to see people who change their lives in such huge ways is just another way that God manifests his unbounding love and mercy. It often makes my heart ache to see those said people worshipping in church and loving God so much, and then I think of how they used to be and I marvel at God'd mercy, love and power. I simply admire and truly adore people who have changed so much by giving up their own desires in order to submit to God's will. There is just something so beautiful about true humility that makes me want to cry realizing that complete humility is what is required to truly be a servant of God - to submit to his will, like the Theotokos, the most beautiful and aweinspiring creature of God.

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