Wednesday's Child

Thursday, June 24, 2004

Random Musings

To me, the Theotokos is the most beautiful and humbling person. She submitted herself to the will of God so that all men could be saved. In the Orthodox Church, the Theotokos and Eve embody Sophia, or divine wisdom. Because of this, Eve was tempted by the Devil. She was tempted not because she was the "weaker sex," but rather because "she represented the religious principle of human nature." Satan knew that "once the being that was most receptive, the most sensitive to the communion between God and the human being was afflicted, the rest would take care of itself."

Among the most fascinating ideas that I have encountered when reading Orthodox literature is that "woman is amenable to the spirits; more than a man, she is sensitive to magic, and to demonic powers." In essence, women can feel the pressence of these powers, which is overwhelming and often terrifying. This idea made a lot of sense to me because I remember as a child, whether walking down the street, playing with other children, or numerous other activities, experiencing feelings that are almost impossible to express in words. I would feel as if I was dirtied, and the air about me was possessed. These recollections came back to me when I had a similar experience several weeks ago. I was out with a reformed friend and some of her friends from her old life, and I felt uncomfortable and strange the whole evening. It was not till I got home that night that the complete onslaught of feelings came. I could not sleep the whole night and the next morning at school, I was shaking, on the verge of tears, and I felt scared. It was one of the scariest things that I have ever experienced. I tremble to think of it. I feel that some people, in particular women, are susceptible to taking on the feelings of others, but also being able to sense danger or evil in the air. It is a bit spooky and extremely terrifying when you personally experience something like that. But there is the other side to it. When I am in church, I feel nothing but peace, purity and an indescribable beauty and wonder at the glory of God and all his saints, especially the Theotokos. Every service I am brought to tears at the incredible holiness of God and his love. When I look at the icon of the Theotokos I am overcome with awe and wish only to ascribe to her glory, for she is so full of sophia and humility that I am overcome by God's divine fatherhood, which exacts itself through human motherhood, or more exactly the Theotokos who is the "mother of all the living"(Gen 3:20). I only wish to be like her who gave herself willingly to save others, and in doing so became the mother and protectress of all mankind.

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