Wednesday's Child

Thursday, July 29, 2004

Not Enough Words

At this point in my life, I am making discoveries and realizations about things that I have always known but never really understood. I have understood them with my mind, but never before with my heart. It is a wonderful feeling to finally comprehend things that I have "known" all of my life. I don't have to fight anymore, I don't have to rely solely on myself, I can just be who I am and try to perfect that with God's grace. Mostly, I have realized that I am never alone, all I have to do is hope, trust and love God. He is truly the "Lord and Master of my life," and all I have to do is submit myself to Him and His will. I don't have to worry, just pray and trust Him. All of this I have known before, but now my heart knows it. Now I feel so much lighter and so joyful. There is nothing to worry about anymore. And I really do love God with all my heart. I can feel it with all my being. When I look out my window I can see God's beauty, it is so beautiful that it hurts. Yet, His Kingdom is incomparably more beautiful than this world. So beautiful that I cannot imagine or bear to imagine. I pray to be in that Kingdom surrounded by His love and beauty. I no longer fear death. Thank you God, for loving us so much, even though we don't deserve it. There are no words to express the gratitude I feel. Maybe that means I shouldn't even try, just use it to love God and all of his creation. Not enough words.

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