Wednesday's Child

Monday, July 26, 2004

Prayer

"Pray for all, near or far, with sincerity, because in a heartfelt prayer we can spiritually communicate with everyone through our love for them. Through prayer we can draw our fellowmen so near to us that they will be in our hearts, and we can warm their hearts with our love and help them in their doings."

-Father John of Kronstadt-

Praying is, to me, something so beautiful and powerful, yet at the same time, it is such a daunting task. When I am really within myself and truly praying all I want is to stay in that state forever. It is so peaceful and wonderful to pray with the utmost sincerity and love. It is the most beautiful feeling that I have ever experienced. Yet, as much as I love it while I am praying, I still have to will myself to pray every morning when I get up and every evening before I go to bed. Does it ever get easier? The thought that motivates me everyday to pray is that maybe my humble prayer may be able to aide someone somewhere in their struggles. And when I think about how many people need praying for I get overwhelmed. There are so many struggling souls out there who I desperately want to help, and almost everyone I meet or see I feel the need to pray for and sometimes I feel silly when I think about the people I pray for. Sometimes while I am watching tv, talking to someone, or walking down the street, someone strikes me in such a way that all I want to do is love them and pray for them. One of the people who I pray for (silly though it may seem) is Eminem. Whenever I see him or hear his songs I just become overwhelmed by a feeling of how angery, sad and alone he must feel. He makes me so sad and I hope that one day one of my prayers may reach him. Prayer is my little humble way of trying to reach as many people as I possibly can, which is all I really want - to help and love people. I know that when I am struggling I appreciate other's prayers, and after all, God gave everyone the power to pray, so why not use it?

I am not quite sure about the correctness of this, but it has been plaguing me for a while, but I have been wondering if it is okay to pray for the devil. I really want to know, but I haven't begun to pray for him, and I won't until I ask my priest (who is inconveniently out of town). Will prayers anger him or will they disarm him? Is it possible that the devil could repent and be saved? In a way(I'm not sure if this is correct either), I pity the devil because he is not in communion with God. Again, I don't know if these thoughts are proper or if they are weapons used by the devil. Is he using my compassion as a tool to break me down and take me even farther away from God? I have so many questions for my priest, it is in moments like this that I realize how little I know and how utterly lost and in the dark I am with concern to all matters spiritual.

May God grant me wisdom.


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