Wednesday's Child

Monday, September 20, 2004

I have been thinking (not so sure that is a good thing) about so much the past few days that right now my thoughts are quite convuluted. Time for an emptying of my simple mind.

I read something so beautiful the other day. It was one of those times when something just makes you stop dead in your tracks and really marvel. The funny thing is that I generally get this feeling with something that is so simple and obvious, yet so profound (to me at least). Anyways, I read this from Matthew the Poor, "Repentance is but a fall into the hands of God." It still gets me. I just had to get that out, it is so beautiful and comforting.

Yesterday was so cool. I got to go through my dad's books. He has so many, and they are all good ones. I used to make fun of him because I thought that no one in their right mind would read the kind of books that he did. Now I want to read all of his books that I used to make fun of him for. Irony. Seriously, my dad has such a great collection. I am pretty much set for reading material for about 2 years.

Right after I graduated high school (and during it for that matter), I was so bitter. I am ashamed to admit it. I was so mad at high school and I absolutely hated it. Over the past few weeks I have been realizing that as much as high school was miserable for me, it was such an invaluable learning experience. If I hadn't gone through all those struggles I wouldn't be where I am today, and I wouldn't change where I am for anything. I guess that I have come to understand that whatever comes to me God uses to help and teach me, provided I work with Him. I am glad that I got the opportunity to struggle because it brought me closer to God. That alone makes me thankful for high school and how the changes it wrought in me. Wow, I never thought I would say that. Really, some good can come out of everything. A lot of times it is not until after that you can see the good. I think that is where faith comes into play. I just need to trust that God is always with me, and trust that He is protecting me.

People always tell you these things, these little words of wisdom, but they are never real until you come to understand them for yourself. Right now I am simply working on understanding everything I already know.

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